


Survivors

by SynchronizedFireflies



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), Zombieland (2009)
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, Rick can't deal with everybody's shit, short and simple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-12-21 05:45:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11937582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SynchronizedFireflies/pseuds/SynchronizedFireflies
Summary: This is just something I've been thinking about for a long time.What would happen if the Walking Dead and Zombieland survivors met?





	1. Chapter 1

“Who are they?”

“I don't know. I heard a loud crash and when I went to check it out, four people walked out of the store. There were two men, a woman, and a kid.” Daryl paused, allowing Rick to process the information.

“Do you want to take them in?”

A distressed look passed over Rick’s face, no doubt remembering all the problems they'd had in the past with other survivors, but he finally nods.

“Don't take any chances though. If it looks like they're going to pull something, put them down.”

“Got it.”

\----------

The day had been going pretty well until he heard the sound of hammers clicking around him.

Columbus spun around to see the barrel of a gun being shoved in his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tallahassee and the girls in a very similar state.

“Hey man,” Columbus said, “we don't want any trouble.” But the sound of Tallahassee growling probably discredited his statement a little.

He got a good look at the man with the gun now. Well, boy with a gun. The kid was no older than 16 and had a white bandage wrapped around his eye.

“How many walkers have you killed?” A different man spoke up now. Columbus turned around again to face the man who was obviously in charge.

“What?” He asked.

“How many walkers have you killed?” The man repeated.

“Uh, I don't know.”

Then Tallahassee spoke up. “A lot.”

This seemed to be an acceptable answer for the man.

“How many people have you killed?”

Now Columbus could answer  _this_ one. “Just one.”

“Why?”

The guns still hadn't wavered and Columbus was getting a little nervous.

“It was an accident, all right! I didn’t mean to. It was Tallahassee’s fault really.”

“Hey, don't drag me into this. It's your fault you shot Bill Murray.”

“You shot Bill Murray?!” A woman shouted, obviously shocked.

“Who's Bill Murray?” The kid asked.

“Thank you,” Little Rock said.

“How the fuck did you shoot Bill Murray?” Another man asked with a southern tint to his voice.

“We were in Hollywood cause, well you know, end of the world and all, and we ended up in Bill Murray’s house. We thought he was dead, but while I was trying to teach Little Rock about him, he scared Tallahassee and Wichita.”

“I was not scared,” muttered Tallahassee, but Columbus ignored him.

“Anyways, he was acting like a walker; he said he could go out among them that way. But Tallahassee told him to try and scare me. Said I scared easy or something.”

“And this asshat,” Tallahassee interrupted him, “got scared and shot him. And that was the end of Bill Murray.”

The four lowered their heads in mourning and the group around them looked at each other with disbelief clouding their features. Rick recovered first.

“We have a camp not too far from here. Y’all are welcome to come back with us.”

Columbus looked around from Tallahassee to Wichita and finally to Little Rock. “What do you say guys? Ready for some more adventure?” Little Rock smiled and grabbed Wichita’s hand, who leaned over and gave Columbus a quick kiss in the cheek. Tallahassee just smirked, but you could tell there was no place he'd rather be. Well, except for maybe with his dog.

A loud snarling interrupted their touching moment, but Rick quickly put it down with a single bullet. “Follow us,” he said before turning back towards their vehicle.

But another gunshot caused him to pause and everyone turned around to see Columbus standing above the dead walker.

“Rule #2: Double Tap.”

Rick shook his head, exasperated. There was definitely something wrong with these people.


	2. Zombie Kill of the Week

With the help of crowbar, Daryl, Columbus, and Tallahassee forced their way into an old grocery store. 

“What did you want out of here again?” Daryl asked, still slightly suspicious of the newcomers. But Tallahassee ignored him. He simply walked in through the door and looked around. 

“Seriously, we've got supplies and this store looks like it's empty.”

“Somewhere in this world is another box of Twinkies.” Tallahassee said, rounding on Daryl and looking exasperated at having to explain this again. “And last time we found one, dumbass over here,” he pointed over his shoulder at Columbus, “filled it with buck shot. So I have to find another one.” 

“Hey, you got one,” Columbus complained. 

“One Twinkie will only get you so far.” He pushed past Daryl then and into the dark store. Daryl stared at Columbus and Columbus just shrugged and followed Tallahassee. 

Daryl quietly followed them, being careful to not alert any walkers that might be hidden in the store. He checked the corners, staying alert and trying to make sure there were no surprises. Then his head shot up as music echoed through the small store. He spun around to warn their newest party members, but stopped when he saw Tallahassee strumming a banjo. 

“What are you doing?” Daryl hissed. “Are you trying to get us killed?” He paused as he heard snarling coming from the back. “Great,” he muttered and pulled his crossbow off his back.

A huge walker barreled down the aisle towards Tallahassee. But Tallahassee sidestepped and swung his banjo as the walker’s legs, causing him to trip, and finished the walker off with a shotgun blast to the head. 

“What do you think,” Tallahassee started, turning to Columbus, “Zombie Kill of the Week?” He raised his arms and the blood and guts that had splattered from the walker dripped down his face. 

“I don’t know,” Columbus said, thoughtfully. “I think Sister might still have you beat.” 

“You can’t keep using the freakin’ nun. That kill was like two months ago,” Tallahassee replied angrily. 

“Fine, you win Zombie Kill of the Week.”

A smug grin stretched across Tallahassee’s face and Daryl looked between the two, helplessly confused. “What?” he finally stuttered out.

“Well, a few months ago a nun killed a zombie by dropping a piano on it. It was pretty impressive. But Tallahassee’s mad because she keeps winning Zombie Kill of the Week. I suppose it isn’t fair but… well, you should’ve seen it.”

Daryl growled and Columbus looked at him with a bit of a scared look. 

“I mean, what have y’all been doing this entire time? Zombie Kill of the Week? Do you think it’s a game?” 

Tallahassee shook his head and smiled. “No, but it tends to be a hell of a lot easier to deal with when you treat it like a game. Columbus had a stick up his ass til he met me, but well, actually he definitely still has a stick up his ass, but that’s okay. We’re living, not just surviving.”

Daryl just shook his head and spun away, ready to leave the store. Then two more walkers rushed towards them from the back of the store. Daryl dropped the first with his crossbow, but he was, unfortunately, too slow on the reload to stop Tallahassee from having his fun. The man retrieved his blood-covered banjo and twirled it in his hand, laughing. He beat the walker’s head in. Every time the banjo hit the walker, the strings let out a dying shriek. The walker seemed to whimper as blood sprayed from its head, making Columbus back away and Daryl cringe. Finally, one last horrifying scream sounded and Tallahassee tossed the ruined banjo on the ground with an ear-to-ear smile. 

Daryl tried to act like nothing had happened though he felt slightly nauseated at the man’s love of bloody and horrific deaths. He stormed out of the store and climbed on to his motorcycle. He knew the other two were following and they hopped in their yellow hummer, Tallahassee laughing about something or another. 

It didn’t take long for them to arrive back at Alexandria. As Daryl climbed off his bike, Rick approached him. “What took y’all so long?”

Daryl sighed. “Tallahassee wanted to check out this old grocery store. There was nothing good there though.” Tallahassee climbed out of his vehicle then and even Daryl did a double take; he had forgotten how much blood there was. 

“What happened?” Rick asked.

“Let’s just say that these people have slightly different methods when it comes to walker killing.” Wichita and Little Rock exited the house that four newcomers shared. Little Rock jumped into Tallahassee’s arms obviously not caring about the blood that covered the front of her, fortunately, black shirt. Wichita kissed Columbus then stared down Tallahassee. 

“Zombie Kill of the Week?” she asked, turning back to Columbus. He nodded and Tallahassee grinned again. “God,” she continued. “You two are five-years-old. Fucking idiots.” But the small smile told Daryl that she didn’t really care. As the four went back to their house, laughing, Daryl was reminded of Tallahassee’s statement. Maybe these people were better than them, better than survivors, they were all living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boredom leads to a continue in writing. Hope y'all enjoyed and let me know what you thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Different versions of this have been in my head for a long time, especially now that I've picked up TWD again. Hope y'all enjoyed. Comments and kudos are appreciated.


End file.
